“I don’t know how you do it,” I heard again and again during the years of my separation and divorce from my first husband. I was 36 years old with three children under the age of six. Sometimes I would point up as if to say that it was all God. That little gesture was a lot easier than talking about how my faith was sustaining me.
Over time it felt more natural to share about the many ways that God helped me through those hard days. Today I have no problem at all because I’m filled with so much gratitude. Sometimes I wonder if I may be TOO open with people. Then I remember that God can use my story to help other women.
He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort as God has given us. ( 2 Corinthians 1:4 )
And we don’t always see how God helped us while we were in the valley – the season of loss or pain. But have you ever noticed that when you look back on your life you can see more clearly how God was with you the whole time? And the moments of joy he gave you in the midst of the sorrow? And even bringing something good after the pain or loss – “beauty from ashes”
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for (from) ashes, a joyour blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of dispair. (Isaiah 61:3) And this is a promise for us today.
When I went through the first separation and divorce I’d been married for a little over 10 years. I was a single Mom until I remarried four years later. Believe it or not, I once told a group of women in a Bible Study that in some ways I was almost glad that I went through the first divorce because I got so much closer to God.
Of course I wasn’t actually happy that I went through that time of suffering. I’m not THAT crazy! But it was then that I started to believe it might really be the Holy Spirit speaking to me, or impressing words in my mind when I was talking to God.
Twenty years later when I found myself going through a second separation and divorce – another “valley of sorrow” – I believed that as awful as it was, God would help me again. I could trust him. I remember laying my left hand on the tattoo on my right arm – which said “beauty from ashes” – and reminding myself that he would hold my hand and walk with me through the pain and life changes this time as well.
Did I ever get mad and ask God why he let me marry that second time in the first place if he knew what would happen in my future? Yes definitely! But I know that there was a purpose, and I have many good memories as well as the times of heartbreak. God would bring healing once again.
And that healing came in different ways. I love how God uses music as part of my healing. I’ll write more about that later. But I will give you one example – “The Valley Song” by Jars of Clay. It just speaks to me, hard to explain.
The lyrics are about how God leads us through the valleys of sadness and pain in our lives – even when it seems like he isn’t listening – until we get to the other side of the valley. And back to joy.
“I will sing of Your mercy that leads me through valleys of sorrow to rivers of joy.” Part of that line just may be my next (small) tattoo.